Domestic Violence

Understanding and Recognizing It

It's important to recognize the different facets of domestic violence. While disagreements are part of a couple's dynamic, it's crucial to distinguish healthy conflict from violence, which is a violation of every woman's fundamental rights to respect, freedom and integrity.

The Cycle of Violence

Understanding the cycle of domestic violence is the key to overcoming it. This cycle, which applies to all forms of violence, unfolds in four phases:

  • Tension: The aggressor creates a climate of fear and unease.
  • Crisis: An act of verbal or physical violence occurs.
  • Justification: The aggressor justifies his behavior and blames the victim.
  • Reconciliation: The aggressor is gentle and promises to change.

This cycle repeats itself, trapping the victim in a spiral of violence. Maison Gisèle Pomerleau is here to help you break this cycle and regain control of your life.

Maison Gisèle Pomerleau - Le cycle de la violence

Types of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence isn't just about hitting.


It can be silent, insidious, difficult to name. It can take the form of hurtful words, constant control, threats, isolation or manipulation. Whether psychological, verbal, economic, sexual or physical, domestic violence is always aimed at the same thing: taking power over the other person, preventing them from being free, from being themselves.

Recognizing these different forms of violence is essential. It's the first step in supporting those affected, breaking the silence and bringing about change. Because no one deserves to live in fear. And because love should never hurt.

Maison Gisèle Pomerleau - Offre de l'aide en hébergement pour les femmes victimes de violence conjugale

Physical violence involves intentional acts that cause or could cause physical injury, pain or distress. It can include :

  • Direct physical attacks: Hitting, slapping, pushing, pinching, biting, choking, etc.
  • Use of objects: Throw objects at the victim, use them as weapons (knives, belts, etc.).
  • Physical intimidation: Striking close to the victim, threatening him with objects, pinning him in a space.
  • Restriction of freedom of movement: Preventing the victim from leaving a room, a car or the home.
  • Violence against property: Breaking personal objects, damaging housing, killing pets.

Psychological abuse aims to undermine the victim’s self-esteem, to control and manipulate them. It can take the form of :

  • Humiliation and denigration: Constant criticism, insults, degrading remarks about appearance, abilities, intelligence.
  • Threats and intimidation: Threaten to hurt the victim, her family or pets, threaten to leave her, take away her children.
  • Control and surveillance: Monitor company attendance, activities, communications (telephone, social networks), and keep a constant watch.
  • Isolation: Removing the victim from family and friends, cutting them off from resources.
  • Emotional blackmail: Using the victim’s emotions to manipulate and control her.

Verbal abuse is characterized by the use of hurtful, humiliating and threatening words. It can include :

  • Insults and name-calling: Calling the victim degrading names, insulting them about their appearance, origins, etc.
  • Screaming and yelling: Use an aggressive, threatening tone to intimidate the victim.
  • Sarcasm and mockery: Mocking the victim, ridiculing him or her in public or private.
  • Denigration: Devaluing the victim, minimizing their achievements, making them feel inferior.

Economic violence aims to control the victim’s financial resources and make her financially dependent on the abuser. It can take the form of :

  • Controlling finances: Managing the couple’s money without consultation, depriving the victim of money, controlling her spending.
  • Occupational sabotage: Preventing the victim from working, criticizing their work, harassing them in the workplace.
  • Financial exploitation: Using the victim’s money for personal gain without her consent.

Sexual violence encompasses any non-consensual act or behavior of a sexual nature. It can include :

  • Sexual assault: Any unwanted sexual contact, with or without penetration.
  • Sexual harassment: unwanted sexual remarks or advances, jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
  • Sexual coercion: Using force, threats or manipulation to obtain a sexual act.
  • Exhibitionism and voyeurism: Exposing intimate parts or looking at a naked person without consent.
  • Violence sexuelle conjugale: Forcing unwanted sexual relations on a couple.

You're not alone!

If you are in danger, call 911 immediately.

If you need to talk or understand what you are going through, SOS domestic violence is there for you, day and night.

Le Centre des femmes Montréal-Est/Pointe-aux-Trembles

Montreal East/Pointe-aux-Trembles Women's Centre

A space for women to grow, develop and support each other. Discover our activities and resources tailored to your needs.

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